Wolverine Tries To Date Scott’s Girlfriend
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Flare-Aoi
Summary: Complete! Wolverine is at it with his silly antics again, this time trying to get real cozy with Jean Grey, but Cyclops doesn’t like it one bit. All hell could break loose as Cyclops tries to stop Wolverine from taking his girlfriend out on a date.
1. Chapter 1

**Story**: Wolverine Tries To Date Scott's Girlfriend  
**Author**: Master Jin Sonata  
**Written**: January 2008  
**Genre**: Humor  
**Rating**: T (Language and Violence)  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Marvel. But I own the silly X-Men characters that I portray.

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**_Part 1 of 5: Seeing Things Eye To Claw_ **

**Cyclops's Point of View, X-Mansion**

Cyclops was in his room taking a hot shower. That evening he was planning to take his girlfriend, Jean Grey, out on a date at a nice restaurant.

"_Tonight is the night that I will finally propose to my love,"_ Cyclops said to himself_. "There is nothing that's going to ruin this golden opportunity!"_

After his shower, he steps out and dries off. He then applies some expensive cologne before going to get dressed. Slipping on a black tuxedo, he posses in his mirror, grabs the engagement ring, a bouquet of red roses, and struts out of the door.

**Wolverine's Point of View, X-Mansion**

Wolverine walks in front of his bathroom mirror in his boxer shorts, yawning and scratching his hair. His face was unshaved, and he hadn't taken a shower since the brawl with Sabertooth and Magneto last week.

"**Bub…you're a wreck. You'll never score a date with the sexy Jean Grey looking like this…"** Wolverine said out loud as he stared at himself in the mirror.

After some deliberation, Wolverine finally decided to get in the shower and bathe.

Wolverine's preparation wasn't exactly smooth sailing like Cyclops's. Wolverine slipped on a bar of soap he dropped and fell out of the tub, while he shaved, he accidentally applies shampoo instead of shaving cream, and applied Windex to himself instead of perfume.

Things just weren't working out for him.

Maybe he was just nervous…

…or maybe it's the hangover he still has from the drinking party he attended last night with the other X-Men. (Yes, folks, that's a lot of beers to be affecting Wolverine like this)

Either way, Wolverine was determined to take Jean out on a date before Scott did.

Wolverine slipped on his favorite black leather outfit, sunglasses, and heads out the door of his room, grabbing a bunch of flowers from a vase down the hallway.

**Outside Jeane Grey's Room, X-Mansion**

Both men were heading toward the same destination. Coming in from opposite ends of the hallway, they both arrived at her door at the exact same time. Both men stopped and glared at each other.

"**What do you think you're doing?"** Cyclops asked Wolverine, raising an eyebrow.

"**I'm about to take Jean out on a night of fun, bub. What's with the get-up you're wearing? What are you doing, taking Jubilee to the school prom or something?"** Wolverine insulted Cyclops.

Both men were about to start an all out argument…

…when Jean's door suddenly opened.

**_End of Part 1_**

**What do you think so far? Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Part 2 of 5: Tensions Rise_**

As soon as the door to Jean's room opened, both Wolverine and Cyclops look at each other.

"**You stay out here while I go meet Jean,"** Cyclops said to Wolverine.

"**Jack-shit, bub, I'm going to be the one who approaches her first,"** Wolverine responded, growling at Cyclops.

After a brief silence both men attempt to rush through the door, only to get themselves stuck in between the door's frame. After a minute grunts, shoves and struggles, both of them popped inside of the room simultaneously. Both men look around for any sign of Jean within her room…

…but found nothing.

"**Damn…where could she be?"** Wolverine said.

"**I don't know…she should be here in her room…she told me to wait for her here…"** Cyclops said.

"**Well, until she comes, I'll just make myself cozy,"** Wolverine said, walking toward Jean's clothes dresser.

"**What are you doing?"** Cyclops said to Wolverine, raising an eyebrow.

"**What does it look like, Sherlock? I'm checking out her wares and accessories,"** Wolverine responded as he opened up the top drawer and pulls out a pair of panties**. "Wow, now these are hot!"**

"**Put those away!!! What if Jean walked in here at this very moment?"** Cyclops said.

"**You're a damn sissy, you know that? Here, you take them then,"** Wolverine said, tossing the pair of panties at Cyclops's head.

As if on cue, Jean Grey suddenly opens the door and walks into her room, stopping when she saw both men standing in her bedroom.

"**Wolverine? Cyclops? What are you two doing in my room…and are those my panties?!?!?"** Jean said to Cyclops, completely shocked. **"Whose idea was this?"** she now said angrily.

Both men pointed an accusing finger at each other, with Cyclops's face turning beet red from embarrassment.

Jean sighed.

"**Whatever. Just meet me out in the car when one of you are ready,"** Jean said as she turned around and hastily left the room.

"**Now look what you've done, embarrassing me like that!"** Cyclops muttered to Wolverine.

"**Hey! I wasn't he one holding the goods when she walked in, now wasn't I?"** Wolverine protested.

"**You're a dick, you know that?"** Cyclops said as he left the room.

"**Don't think this isn't over yet! Jean will by mine tonight!"** Wolverine called back, leaving the room shortly afterwards.

**_End of Part 2_**

**Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Thank you for the reviews so far! I'm glad you are enjoy it so far!

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**_Part 3 of 5: Road Rage_**

Roughly thirty-minutes later, Scott was driving Jean toward a fancy restaurant in his new Black Convertible. Taking the scenic route, Scott took this opportunity to make conversation with his date.

"**So, Jean, have I mentioned how lovely you look this evening?"** Scott said to her.

"**Actually you haven't. Thank you,"** Jean responded with a smile.

Scott smiled back.

"_**Thank god Wolverine is nowhere near in sight to further ruin my perfect night,"**_ Scott said quietly to himself.

But to Scott's dismay, Wolverine was approaching them from behind on his motorcycle.

"**Goddammit Wolverine!"** Scott said angrily as he looks out of his rear-view mirror.

"**Scott, is something the matter?"** Jean asked.

Scott turned to Jean and gave her a cheesy smile.

"**Nope! Nothing at all!"** Scott lied.

"**Oh, okay,"** Jean responded as she began checking her make-up.

Scott turns around in his seat and sticks his head out of the window, glaring at Wolverine, who was picking up speed.

"**Sorry Wolverine, but your ride ends here,"** Scott said, lifting up his sunglasses to shoot a beam of energy from his eyes right at Wolverine.

**BLAM!!!**

Scott's optic beams hit the engine of Wolverine's motorcycle, causing it to explode. The motorcycle swerves all over the road before…

**CRASH!!!**

…slamming into a tree.

"**That takes care of him for now…"** Scott says with a grin of satisfaction.

Meanwhile, Wolverine, now lying on the ground charred and burnt like a piece of toast, is left holding the handles of his motorcycle, the rest of his bike blown to bits.

"**Ah you bitch…"** Wolverine growls as he tosses aside the handles and rises to his feet. He stumbles out onto the road, where he sees an oncoming car approaching him.

Wolverine stands in the middle of the road, forcing the oncoming car to brake and stop just inches from him.

"**What the hell is your problem, buddy?" **yelled the driver.

Wolverine walks up to the car, grabs the driver, and chucks him out of his car before getting in and driving off with it himself.

Back with Scott and Jean, they were now approaching the city. Thinking he was in the clear, Scott let out a sigh of relief.

However, that didn't last long as Wolverine suddenly pulled up alongside of Scott, honking his horn to get their attention.

Both Scott and Jean turn and see Wolverine. The couple had a 'WTF' expression on their faces.

"**Wolverine? Wht are you—?"** Jean began to say as Wolverine pulled up right next to her.

"**Change of plans, Jean, you're riding with me now,"** Wolverine says as he leans out of his car and pulls Jean inside his vehicle. **"As for you, one-eye, it's your turn now to get into a wreck,"** Wolverine continues as he unleashes his claws, reaches down to Scott's tires and slashes them.

**Wolveriiiiiiiiine!!!!!"** Scott yells as he now swerves off of the road and ends up colliding into a large low-clearance billboard.

Wolverine turns to Jean and grins.

"**So, how about you and me check out that new sports bar downtown?"** Wolverine asks her.

"**Oh my…sure!" **says a flattered Jean, not really fazed by the fact that she'll be with Wolverine for the evening instead.

Scott meanwhile pries himself out of his now totaled Convertible and growls angrily.

"_**You're dead, Wolverine…"**_ Scott promised, clenching his fist.

**_End of Part 3_**

**Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**_Part 4 of 5: Intervention_**

Some time later, Wolverine and Jean were inside a new sports bar in the heart of the city. They sat at the counter, both having a tall bottle of beer.

"**I'm surprised, Wolverine…"** Jean began to say to him.

"**What, that I would prove to you that I'm a better person to date than that sissy Scott?"** Wolverine responded with a grin.

"**Well…yeah, but wasn't that a bit harsh what you did back there?"** she asks.

"**You mean slashing one-eye's tires? Eh, who cares? He was just pulling a bunch of crap on me for no reason,"** Wolverine lies. **"I think he's jealous at that fact that I'm more macho than he is."**

"**You may be more macho, but Scott has a more sensitive, romantic side to him,"** Jean states.

"**Pfft, like you would be interested in that kind of stuff…"** Wolverine says, rolling his eyes.

Jean looks at Wolverine, raising an eyebrow at his response.

"…**You can't be serious…okay, look, I'm going to go to the men's room. I'll be right back. When I return, I'll show you that I can be…sensitive as well,"** Wolverine says, getting up off of his stool and heading toward the restroom.

No sooner than Wolverine leaves Jean, Scott suddenly storms in through the front door, looking completely disheveled and worn from the accident earlier. He strode toward Jean and grabs her hand.

"**Scott? Are you okay? What's going on?"** Jean asks.

**"I'm fine. Step outside for a moment, will you?"** Scott instructs Jean.

Scott had a devious plan.

Jean nods and hesitantly leaves the bar. Scott then proceeds to grab a chair from a nearby table and chucks it at a beefy looking man, the chair breaking on impact as it knocked the man clear off of his stool.

"**Alright, who's the bastard that just threw a chair at me?"** the beefy man said angrily.

The timing couldn't be more perfect as Wolverine steps out of the restroom and walks back toward the bar.

"**He did it!"** Scott proclaims, pointing at Wolverine.

"**What the #$# is going on?"** Wolverine asks, dumbfounded at the situation.

Scott then quickly made his leave, letting the beefy man, as well as his gang around him to get up and advance toward Wolverine.

"**Scott you damn bastard…!"** Wolverine growls angrily, before getting jumped by all of the gang members.

Outside, Scott and Jean leave the scene in a new car Scott had rented.

"**I'm going to have that perfect date with you tonight, Jean, _without_ Wolverine. I won't let him ruin our night any longer!"** Scott tells Jean as they drive off.

What will become of Wolverine? Will Scott get a chance to have dinner and propose to Jean, or will Wolverine get his way? Stay tuned for the final chapter!

**_End of Part 4_**

**Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**_Part 5 of 5: The Grand Finale_**

Later that evening, Scott had finally arrived at the place he wanted to dine and pop the big question to Jean. It was a French Restaurant, and both were sitting at a table by the window, being served expensive wine by the waiter.

Meanwhile, Wolverine stumbles into the same restaurant moments later, looking completely beat up and disheveled from the fight Scott started at the Sports Bar earlier.

"**Where the hell is that douche at?"** Wolverine grumbles as he walks further inside, where he finds both Scott and Jean sitting at the table. He ducks behind some potted plants and listens in on their conversation.

"**A toast, the most beautiful lady in the world,"** Scott says, clinking their filled wine glasses with Jean.

"**So corny…"** Wolverine grumbles to himself.

"**Say, Scott, you mentioned earlier that you had something really important you wanted to say to me tonight?"** Jean asks.

Cyclops smiled, as he stood and began searching through his pocket.

_"**Yes, now I can finally ask if Jean will marry me, and that will stop Wolverine from making any more advances on her!"**_ Scott thought to himself with much anticipation.

Scott gets down on one knee as he continues to search his pockets for the engagement ring he brought with him.

After almost a minute of searching every pocket on his body, he came to the realization that the engagement ring was no longer on him.

"**Is…something the matter, Scott?"** Jean asks.

"**Uh, er…no, not at all!!!"** Scott lied, getting frustrated at the possibility that he might have lost his engagement ring.

Wolverine, meanwhile, was enjoying the sight of Scott embarrassing himself in front of Jean.

After seeing enough of Scott making a total fool out of himself, he rises up from behind the plants and approaches their table.

"**You!!!"** Scott said angrily as Wolverine came to them.

"**Oh my…Wolverine!"** Jean said, shocked at Wolverine looking beat up and bruised even more. **"What happened to you?"**

"**Oh nothing…nothing at all,"** Wolverine said with a grin. **"I came here to tell you something important."**

"**Oh?"** Jean said, wondering what Wolverine was up to.

"**Is that so?"** Scott said, standing and crossing his arms.

"**Oh yes,"** Wolverine said, reaching into his own pocket and pulling out Scott's engagement ring, opening it up and getting down on one knee. **"Will you be mine, Jean?"** Wolverine asks.

Scott's jaw almost hit the floor with disbelief at what he was seeing. Jean's had a surprised, shocked look on her face.

After a brief moment of silence, Jean finally spoke.

"**Yes…yes I'll marry you, Wolverine!"** Jean said with an excited tone as she rushed toward Wolverine and embraced him, the new couple now lip locked in a passionate kiss.

The whole restaurant clapped in congratulations for the proposal. Scott on the other hand was left with the dinner and wine bill, which totaled over $500.

So ends the scenario of which X-Man would win the girl in the end. Besides, personally, that bitch Cyclops deserved it, no?

**_End of Part 5_**

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**The End!**

**That ends this fic! Please review!**

Stay tuned to the next hilarious X-Men tale: **Wolverine Attempts To Find Work**, coming soon!


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